On my third visit to my sit spot, the river is finally calming down, settling into a peaceful stillness that balances her ever-flowing energy.
The shoreline is re-emerging, I smell algae drying out on the driftwood, enjoy the pattern of vibrant fall leaves nestled and protected in a natural cavity, bathed in sunlight, hear the waves gently lapping and feel the whispering breeze on my cheeks.
My first two visits, I felt a pressure to ‘see’ the creatures of this space – I know the community of creatures up around my house well, but I wanted to meet this community, find out who they are and find out more about them. This time, realizing that I wasn’t truly relaxing into this space or this process, I let go of that goal and expectation to ‘see something’ and instead surrendered to what the land has to share with me, what is calling me in this place. I closed my eyes and listened to the wind, the lapping waves, felt the breeze on my cheeks, heard the rapids in the distance and submitted to the land’s wisdom.
I feel at one with the sparkling warm sun. The wind, river, sun, breeze and the land – the plants, rocks and driftwood – feel like elders with a quiet wisdom. The animals and insects feel like friends, sharing this space with me.
Above all, it’s the wind that brings me back to my center – the sound and the feel of it unravels me and reconnects me with myself and the land.
In the spiritual tradition I was raised with, I was never taught who I was connecting to or with (as an international multi-faith organization, it was open to each practitioner’s interpretation). But for me, it always felt like a connection to all things, to everything on the planet and in the cosmos. A combined energy or collective wisdom, greater than, interconnected with all, eternal.
Growing up in a society and culture that, to quote Bartlett, Marshall and Marshall, has spent “decades of diligent efforts … scrub(bing) spirituality and religion out of ways of knowing” (2012, p. 332), coming into this program and course with its strong grounding in indigenous ways of knowing that are inextricably intertwined with spirituality, and being asked to share from my own background and place of knowing, has been an interesting challenge. I’ve trained myself over decades to avoid this subject and to talk about my experiences without referencing spirituality. But with this sit spot and a call to engage with place and nature, as well as to speak with my authentic voice, it’s impossible not to share about my spiritual connection and experiences. Iseke shares the Elders’ perspective that there is “resistance to spiritual practices and distancing from these practices” and that our “out-of-balance lives are due to our lack of relationships to environment, community, and spiritual practices” (p. 572). While I understand their words were likely intended for indigenous peoples as they also called attention to the devastating influences of religion on indigenous communities, these words ring very true to my own life as well. I agree with the Elders that our lack of community, spirituality and relationship with the environment is a very deep cause of sorrow, loneliness, disconnect and sickness on all levels – emotional, physical, mental – in my settler society. Spiritual connection, which for me is a connection to nature and the world around me, is an endless source of inspiration, wisdom and fulfillment for me. It fills me up and makes me feel thankful at every moment. As Kimmerer says, “naming and appreciation of the gifts that surround us creates a sense of satisfaction, a feeling of ‘enoughness’” (2014, p. 20) and Young describes the benefits this connection-building experience with the world around us as bringing us more: “love, aliveness, presence, vision(), empathy, focus, vitality and happiness” (2020).
Kimmerer crucially asks of us “What is our gift?” (2014, p. 23) How can we enjoy the wonderful benefits of the Earth while also giving her back gifts of our own, living in the abundance of reciprocity? So what is my gift? To this space that I am beyond lucky to call home, that I am in reverence of, one of the gifts that I am compelled to pass on is the wisdom of Kimmerer and Young, the words of the Elders who shared in Iseke’s research and the many other gifts of learning that I’ve received in this program so far. Connor et al describe messaging focused on environmental degradation and negative health effects for humans as being the more conventionally accepted messages at the moment, while other messages, including positively-framed ones, are less normalized and therefore less ‘shareable’ on social media (2016). As concluded by Connor et al., there is a need for climate leaders and communicators to normalize these less conventional messages so that they can be adopted by the mainstream (p. 473). The questions that remain for me are how to make a change in this space – at a time when spirituality is often the focus of horrific news, skepticism and rejection, I am challenged by the idea of how to share my own authentic experiences as well as elevating Kimmerer’s calls to gratitude, to paying attention and to the spirituality in all things. These messages are so important to share and to tell, to invite others into these practices that are so healing and transformative. To quote Kimmerer once again: “While we race around asking how we might change technology or tax structures, the change that might save us goes unspoken: what we need to change is ourselves” (2014, p. 22).
(Tiny Ecology post 1)
References
Bartlett, C., Marshall, M., & Marshall, A. (2012). Two-Eyed Seeing and other lessons learned within a co-learning journey of bringing together indigenous and mainstream knowledges and ways of knowing. Journal of Environmental Studies and Science 2, 331-340. DOI:10.1007/s13412-012-0086-8
Iseke, J. (2013). Indigenous storytelling as research. International review of qualitative research 6(4), 559-577. DOI:10.1525/irqr.2013.6.4.559
Kimmerer, R. W. (2014). “Returning the Gift.” Center for Humans and Nature. https://www.humansandnature.org/returning-the-gift-article-177.php
Young, J. (2020). Repairing emotional isolation by reawakening deep nature connection. TEDxTalks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMWSvUp0CYk&t=476s
Thanks Miriam for sharing your thoughts and being so vulnerable and open. What I hear in your post is this dichotomy of deeply wanting to share our spiritual self, yet being afraid to do so in our secular society. I find myself walking this line, embracing my spiritual identity in some spaces but not others. Thanks for opening this conversation!
Thanks for reading and for your comment Amy! Yes exactly – it’s an integral part of myself that I perceive the world through but that I rarely talk openly about. I find it really refreshing to hear indigenous voices bringing up spirituality so openly and wholistically.
Great post Miriam. When I read Kimmerer and Indigenous scholars, I thought “this describes the relationship I have tried to have with nature”. It just feels so comfortable. I would not describe myself as a spiritual person but you writing has me thinking that maybe I am more spiritual than I thought Thanks for giving me lots to think about when I go to my sit spot tomorrow morning.
Jen
Thanks so much for your reply Jen; I’m so glad my post resonated with you.
Miriam,
Thank you for sharing about your spirituality in a way that makes us feel your experience. You have inspired me to be more open on my own blog about my spiritual connection to nature. I have been hesitant to do so.
Before this program, I had been contemplating the “reason” for climate change. I concluded that many societies lack of spirituality was leading to a focus on the wrong things. This was a depressing thought. How could we make a difference if we have to change something so fundamental? The good news is, as I learn more about indigenous ways of knowing, have my own experiences connecting to nature, and now, read my classmates’ blogs about their spirituality, I feel hopeful. I think we can indeed bring back spirituality and connection to nature as a way forward. We can tackle this challenge together: by blogging, by speaking up and by sharing our new inspiration and knowledge.
You are correct that your gift is your wisdom, and I would add, your passion, your gratitude, your openness and your writing skill! I’m looking forward to continuing to learn with you as we move toward our climate leadership goals.
Kerra
I am so touched and honoured by your reply Kerra – thank you!! 😀 This post was really hard to write because I felt like I was exposing myself, so it’s really reassuring to hear that it was well-received and I’m so glad it resonated with you. 🙂
Thanks for this Miriam. It’s not an easy thing to do, opening up to other ways of knowing and being in the context of a secular culture which is defined by rationalism and rejection of the wisdom of the body, heart, and spirit. While it can inform our sense of where we communicate from, it’s also a question of the kind of leadership we want to develop, and the kind of role modelling we want to offer up for change. It takes courage, and I see that in abundance here. I am particularly struck by your concern and question around how to normalize these positive, more holistic approaches. From the transformational experiences I’ve had and witnessed, I think much of this needs to be embodied, that is, cultural change happens in our bodies, so practices like the sit spot are a tool to facilitate that. That you then translate that into your writing is a gift you are offering us all.